Ultimate Truths

Recently got as a forward. Really good one :-)

• Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
  
• The road to success…….. is always under construction.
  
• Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does milk..
  
• In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.
  
• All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.
  
• Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.
  
• Everyone has a scheme of getting rich….. which never works.
  
• If at first you don't succeed…. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
  
• You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.
  
• He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.
  
• If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late…… the bus is still late.
  
• Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.
  
• If you have paper, you don't have a pen……. If you have a pen, you don't have paper…… if you have both, no one calls.
  
• If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.
  
• The Govt buses in opposite direction always go empty.
  
• The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.
  
• After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.
  
• If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.
  
• The last person to be fired or quit is responsible for all the errors until another person is fired or quits.
  
• Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker.